


Hard Feelings

by prettyholland



Category: Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Mario Kart, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Trauma, Trauma, and them playing video games is like uhhhh, he just has bad nightmares, i love the three bffs, light fluff in the beginning, peter doesn't actually die, peter is hurt and that's okay, yesssss hit me with those video games
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-11
Updated: 2017-08-11
Packaged: 2018-12-14 00:18:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11771499
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyholland/pseuds/prettyholland
Summary: Peter likes to pretend he's okay. He does it for May, and Ned, and Michelle, and Tony. But he's not.





	Hard Feelings

_these days, we kiss and we keep busy/ the waves come after midnight/ i call from underwater/ why even try to get right?_

-hard feelings/loveless, lorde

-

Peter was walking home from school with Ned. It was almost three weeks after the Vulture incident. It was hard to deal with real life after the incident, but he was getting better everyday. Today, he and Ned were planning on playing Mario Kart 8 on the Nintendo Switch with Michelle at Peter's house around 8. Michelle had to head home first, but Ned was coming to his house straight from school. Surprisingly, him and Ned had developed a pretty good friendship with Michelle after the incident, and it was good for Peter to have another person to hang out with- to distract him.

Him and Ned chatted all the way to Peter's apartment. Aunt May (who had taken the shock of him being Spiderman surprisingly well) was out teaching some yoga classes until 9, so Peter and Ned were alone.

They hung out in Peter's room, and worked on an X-Wing Lego replica that Peter had recently been gifted with by ~~Irondad~~ Ironman himself, Tony Stark. Mr. Stark had laughed at him for a little while after discovering that Peter and Ned built Lego replicas (especially Star Wars ones) in their spare time, but then decided to just humor Peter and got him one. Peter and Ned had been ecstatic at receiving the gift, and enjoyed building it.

-

They worked on the X-Wing until MJ arrived at Peter's house, coming with her own Switch controllers because she knew that Peter only had two sets. They all settled down in front of the TV, and began to battle each other to death.

"Ha, take that, Michelle! Blue shell to your face! I'll be in first soon enough!" Ned shouted as he sent a blue shell at Michelle from his place in 2nd.

Peter laughed as Ned went flying from a perfectly aimed green shell. "Guess you won't be taking first, huh, Ned?"

Peter continued in first until the tail end of the third lap, when he suddenly drove over a well placed banana and was subsequently hit by a blue shell. Michelle zoomed past him, taking first.

"You losers should always watch your backs," she smirked, making a show out of tossing her hair over her shoulder.

Ned mimed the action from behind her to Peter, and Peter let out a small laugh.

Then, Ned was slapped in the face.

-

Ned and MJ had stayed until 11, when Aunt May had kicked them out, playing the "It's a school night" card.

Soon, Aunt May herself went to bed. Peter decided to not go out on patrol. He had been taking it easy after the incident, and he didn't know if that was because of Aunt May, or just his own inhibitions. He slid into bed, these thoughts swirling in his head as he slowly drifted off to sleep.

-

Peter woke with a start. He could feel that his cheeks were wet, that his heart was racing, that he was shaking. Tonight's nightmare had been brutal. He'd had nightmares ever since the incident, but he hadn't told anyone for fear of seeming weak or them not understanding. He could deal with it. He was Spiderman, after all.

Peter tried to fall back asleep but every time he closed his eyes, flashes from his nightmare lit up his eyelids.

They were coming in waves. Tonight was worse than any other night leading up to this.

One.

_Peter's trapped beneath the rubble. His face is dripping with water, dust is clinging to it, he can't feel his legs._

Two.

_The rubble seems to weigh down on him more with each passing second. He can feel it digging into every inch of his body. He gets dust in eyes._

Three.

_He's crying again, and it's not from the dust. He's calling out for help, he knows he is, but he can't even register that he's doing it. He gets dust in his mouth._

Four.

_Suddenly, he hears a loud noise. He cowers back into the rubble, thinking Toomes has come to finish him off. He's got dust in his eyes and he's crying, and he's got dust in his mouth and it's getting hard to breathe._

Five.

_He can feel someone moving the rubble around, calling out a name. His name. He can barely even tell that it is. As the rubble shifts, a metal rod is pushed into Peter's leg. He cries out._

Six.

_He can feel someone rushing towards him. A familiar glint of red and gold catches his eye. Tony. He's here to save Peter. He can feel the rubble being lifted off of him._

Seven.

_Tony eventually pulls Peter out of the rubble. The metal rod is still sticking out of his leg. Tony sets Peter on his lap, and hits his mask so his face can be seen. Peter looks up at him._

Eight.

_He can faintly hear Tong whispering to him that he's going to be okay. Suddenly, a pain almost worse than the rubble hits him. Tony is pulling the metal out of his leg. Peter's crying._

Nine.

_There's blood all over him. He can feel it. He can also see it staining the Iron Man suit, and he can smell it in the air around him. It's just him and Iron Man alone in this god forsaken collapsed building._

Ten.

_He's got dust in eyes and he's crying. He's got dust in his mouth and it's getting hard to breath. He's got blood pouring out of his legs and it's getting hard to see. His last thought before the darkness was_

_I've failed you all._

-

Peter tried to fall asleep again ten times that night. Not one of them worked. He's still dealing with it, he guesses.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading this, as I seem to be doing anything else than updating Dumb Stuff. That update will be up soon tho. I hope you enjoyed this, as I got the idea for it while listening to Lorde, and I just needed a good cry, ya know? This was my first time sort of exploring something as deep as PTSD and trauma, so tell me how I did. Also, tell me what you think about the whole thing in general in the comments (and cry with me about Infinity War). Kudos are always appreciated!!


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